dream on 12/15/03
Very bad dream this morning. I woke up at 4:20am as I did the day before. I hate that. I sit around for hours not ready to get out of bed and not able to go back to sleep. I had a nightmare though that was very strange. For some reason, I was on the run for something. I am not sure what started it for sure. I was killing anyone who questioned anything about me. Almost always it was a shotgun blast at close range. The odd thing is that I never had a gun, I would just point both of my hands at them and “shoot”. They would really be shot though and it was often resulting in immediate death. Then I got to this one guy. He would not leave me alone. All I wanted to do was to get home or to get somewhere safe so I could figure out what I was doing. Be he followed and followed, badgering me. I tried to shoot him as well and the first time wounded him quite a bit, but it did not kill him. He started drawing much more attention to me so I tried to shoot him more. But each time my “shot” got less powerful until I was simply holding my hands out and nothing was happening. He saw I lost what edge I had and he kept following me. By this time there were for sure people who had heard him yelling and had called the police. I had thought I heard police sirens in the background, but my attention was focused on losing him. He was not to be lost though. I tried to trick him this way and that and had almost gotten away. I was trying to enter my house through some odd side type entrance (my moms house actually, although it did not resemble any house I have ever known for real). I had almost made it in. It was sort of behind some type of wood pile and so I was trying to get behind it. I did not make it. The police were coming and I could hear the sirens for sure now. I knew it was all over. I knew I was spend the entire rest of my life in prison. I was so mad at this one guy for just not leaving me alone. Somehow putting all the blame on him for my situation.
